Be the Example

When I found out I was pregnant I was beyond excited and surprised! After 5 years of marriage and never once trying to prevent pregnancy I honestly thought it would never happen. I had recently found out that two other good friends were pregnant and instantly felt something that I hadn't felt in over 2 years - envy. I desired what they were getting. I wanted to carry a child in my body, feel him or her kick, let my husband touch my belly and feel a child move; I wanted to experience every ache and pain through the 9 months and experience labor, physically bringing a child into this world. I had desired this for a loooonnnng time, but the process of adoption had replaced it for me. I'm so thankful that God called us to adopt and that he changed my heart on the matter and for years it satisfied me fully. I had been thinking, just prior to finding out they were pregnant, that I wanted to adopt again. Tyler and I had been talking about it for a couple of months and we had started the process of becoming foster parents and were hoping to see what doors God would open for us to  adopt through the Alabama Baptist Children's Home. Even with that process in place I still desired to be pregnant. So, when I felt the envy rising I began praying. I actually prayed that God would either allow me to experience pregnancy and having another child, or that He would change my heart and remove the desire. It was just four weeks later when I found out I was pregnant. I honestly believe that those prayers were heard and answered.

 As Elijah Ray grew I thought about who I wanted him to be, how Tyler and I would raise him, and what he would do for God. I have prayed for him to give his life to God at an early age and to always follow Him and His plans. I have prayed for his future wife, yes, I know he's only eight months old! But I want him to find a partner who has a heart for God, who is kind, humble, and has a servant's heart! I have thought about how I will teach him certain things in this life and how it will shape the man, husband, father, friend he will be. It's wild to think of the influence we have in our children's lives. How important is it for us to be the example?! The only way to raise our children is to show them by example. The old saying "Do as I say, not as I do" should not be our motto. We should lead by our example and our children should be be able to  "do as we do".

How can I expect my child to be in the Word daily if I'm not myself? If I don't make it a point to read it to him and with him from the very beginning? How can I expect him to pray if he never hears me or his dad in prayer? How can I expect him to choose a godly wife one day, if I myself don't display what a godly wife looks like in our home? How will he learn to serve others if we don't serve? The same goes for teaching forgiveness, patience, showing and extending grace, and love!

God's word instructs us to raise our children in the word and tells us in Proverbs to:


Train up a child in the way he should go,And when he is old he will not depart from it.

And then in Deuteronomy we are instructed to:

Write these commandments that I’ve given you today on your hearts. Get them inside of you and then get them inside your children. Talk about them wherever you are, sitting at home or walking in the street; talk about them from the time you get up in the morning to when you fall into bed at night. Tie them on your hands and foreheads as a reminder; inscribe them on the doorposts of your homes and on your city gates.

Can you imagine what our world would look like if we raised our children according to the above scriptures? If we truly trained them in the Word? Talked about God and His love and showed them what it means to love others selflessly? If our homes were filled with wholesome talk, less trash on the television(I'm guilty!!), and more time in prayer, in the word, and putting God's love in action?



The book of Matthew tells us about Jesus' reply to a question from a religious leader where He tells us that love is the greatest commandment we have. 

Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.This is the first and greatest commandment. 3 And the second is like it: "Love your neighbor as yourself. All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”


I have always said that love trumps all. If you love God and love others, dying to yourself daily, you can't go wrong. When love is your motive and you are willing to serve and love others without regard to "gain", that's when you are putting the love God has given you into action and being His hands and feet. This is what I want my kids to see in Tyler and I.


As I write this I am reflecting on the blessing God has given me in my children. Tyley Sue and Elijah Ray are so unique, and watching them grow is so different I'm learning (but that's for another post!), but God didn't give me these children just to fulfill my heart's desire. It wasn't just to complete my family and my home.  There is a plan for them and just like me they have kingdom work to complete; and it's my job to equip them. In order for our children to be the men and women of God that they are called to be, we have to be the example.