Adoption. What does it really mean?

I've been reading the book Adopted for Life by Russel D. Moore and it has really opened my eyes even more to the spirit of adoption. I know that God has called Tyler and I personally to adopt. But guess what? He has also called everyone else to care for the widows and the orphans as well. He said one thing in the book that really stood out to me. Instead of looking at orphans as just those little sad faces on television that we sometimes see, let's see them as the children we already know around us. Imagine them as orphans. Children without a home, without loving parents, without their basic needs being met. Wouldn't you want to rescue them?? There is no better way to show the love of Christ than this. Although I did know that we have all as Christians been adopted by Christ, it has just made me think about it an entirely new way. We are not just adopted, adoption is so much more than just belonging, or a title given to someone who doesn't biologically "match" the rest of the family. My adoption by Christ, in Christ, has made me an heir to the kingdom. And because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, cyring, "Abba! Father! So you are no longer a slave, but a son, and if a son, then an heir through God.  Galatians 4:6-7

I feel like God is going to use this adoption that Tyler and I are going through right now is a mighty way. This is something way more than just fufilling our little family. This is a wonderful move of God through us, He is putting something together in our lives that is bigger than I can imagine.
Adoption is something that many people just don't "get". It's something I didn't get for a long time as well. I've come to realize that God is giving me the desires of my heart. My prayer has been for a child. I didn't see it coming in the form of adoption, but I'm glad it is. This is my pregnancy. I may not have a child growing in my body, I don't get to feel him/her move, and see my body change as it nurtures a growing baby. My husband can't put his hands on my stomach and feel his child kick, or look at the ultrasound pictures and see if we can tell who's nose he/she will have. We can't even pick out clothes, or decorations because we don't know what the sex will be, or even what time of year it will be. No, this is not your typical 9 month pregnancy. It's something much more mysterious. God is crafting this, putting it all together. He didn't just get me and Tyler to realize we needed to adopt. He had to get an agency to take us in and show us the way, He is working on a another woman now, preparing her. I don't know if she is expecting yet or not, or if she is,  if she is contemplating abortion, or adoption, or keeping the child herself. I don't know who she is or what her story is like, but my God does. He's putting it together, telling a wonderful story; preparing a child for Tyler and I to hand over to Him. It's not about my heart's desires, it's about growing the kingdom, it's about bringing glory to my God. It's about the day when this is fufilled, and a baby is in our arms, and we can look back over the past 4 years and see the wonderful masterpiece that was being conducted while we living our day to day lives; and we can give Him the glory; and tell others of His character.

I know that as the days get closer and closer, I get more and more excited. I don't know how soon or how far away it will be, but my heart is filled with emotion as I think about our child coming home to us soon.

Moving On to Better Places

Ok, so since my last post not much has happened. Catholic Family Services, the agency that never returned my phone calls, still hasn't returned my call. So, I called them and finally did speak with someone, but they have a waiting list. I spoke with the agency director, and she took our information, but overall didn't seem too interested. You know when you just have a gut feeling about something?? Or the holy spirit is poking at you? Well I just didn't feel good about them.

 In the meantime, I have been speaking with a social worker from Family Adoption Services, and they have been absolutley wonderful! So nice, helpful, and excited to speak with me. I asked if we could set up an appointment with her and she suggested we set up with the entire agency! So today Tyler and I went to Birmingham and met with the director his staff, including his wife. It was a wonderful meeting. I just feel at home with them, so comfortable and natural. He answered all of the questions I had (I was the crazy person who brought it a notebook of questions lol), Tyler, who has definatley been given the gift of discernement, feels good about him as well. We met his wife, and as Tyler stuck out his hand to shake hers, she said " I don't do hand shakes, I do hugs". This is my kind of woman!! After hearing her speak of her love for these children, birthmothers, and adoptive parents, I was sold. To her and her husband, this is not just a job, it's a ministry. They have been called to do this, and it is very apparent that God has his hands on them. I now know why we met the resistance we met at the other agencies. It was clear today that this is where we are supposed to be. So now, Agape is going to forward our paperwork, and our new social worker will be calling us to let us know if there is anything else we need to do. But, it's sounding like in the next few weeks we will be looked at by potential birthmothers. Their average wait time is 18 months, but we were told today that our time may be significantly less since we are willing to accept any race child.

I am so excited to see what's next. I have been so discouraged and nervous and today I feel so much better. As we were leaving the agency we headed to Tyler's school to turn in a paper that was due. On our way there Christy Nockles was on the radio and the words "We will keep our eyes on You, We will keep our eyes on You.." were being sung right as we passed by the place we used to do our fertility treatments, and the words "You are Beautiful" were on an overpass that we passed under. It was a cheesy movie- like moment, but I felt God clearly speaking to my heart in that moment. I'm so glad that I have kept my eyes on Him. It's been hard, and I have failed at times, but I know that I'm He wants us to be. I have been overwhelmed with feelings of gratitude, thankfulness, and an unbelievable happiness today. Just as they said when we left the agency today, "We're gonna have a BABY!"