It wasn't supposed to be this way...

My name is Ashley Jones. I married my middle school sweetheart, Tyler Jones on September 15, 2007.  After already being diagnosed with PCOS a few years prior, I knew that I may have difficulty conceiving; so we decided to try and get pregnant immediately. I had a desire to be a mom for as long as I can remember. I can't think of a time in my life where I didn't just love being around children. Although I had several doctors tell me I would not be able to conceive, or would have much difficulty, I never actually thought it would be a big deal. I have always been able to do things that I set my mind to. Month after month passed by with no positive pee stick!! I really felt like this was how my life was being measured!

We decided to seek the help of a fertility doctor, and over the course of a year we tried Clomid and other medications with no success. The only thing it did succeed in was making me a crazy, emotional, psychotic wife! My poor husband watched me go up and down, and stood by me the whole time. After feeling like the fertility doctor I had was not being as aggressive I wanted in my treatments, we changed doctors and went to a bigger, more well known group of doctors.

During my initial assessment with this group it was found that my prolactin levels were sky high. No big deal, at this point everything else had been messed up too. After taking some medication, we rechecked and it was elevated even more. I got the phone call one afternoon with a good friend at my house. The nurse called, told me it was still high, and that they were "99.9% sure that it was a pituitary tumor". When Tyler got home and I told him the news he was devestated. About 2 months before this we had started going back to church, and getting more involved. This was the point in our lives where we completely surrendered our lives to the Lord. I can, at this point in my life, honsetly say that the phone call I received that day was the best call I have ever received. Without this "scare" I don't know where we would be today. We received the results of the CT scan that weekend and after much prayer the scan showed nothing. Nothing at all. Suddenly my prolactin levels were back to normal. Ahhhh the power of prayer!!

Time went on and we underwent 3 unsuccessful IUI treatments. At this point 2 year into our attempt at getting pregnant, I really started searching and trying to understand and see God's hand in all of this. We were told by the doctors that we needed to do IVF in January 2010. I immediately was ready to go. Without a second thought. I was desperate to have a child, no matter how it happened. Then I put my excitement aside, talked with Tyler, prayed and cried a whole lot, and decided that God just wasn't in it at this time. We just felt like we weren't being directed in any particular way. After more prayer and turning to the scripture we felt like we just needed to be still. So we waited. And waited, I didn't even know what I was waiting on. From January to June, we waited. Waiting is hard, it stinks, I hate it, it's no fun, and it's especially not fun when you have no idea what it is you are waiting on!!!

During this time, Tyler had been called to preach. He became the youth pastor at a church in our community. We took the youth group on a trip for summer camp in June 2010. At the camp the challenge was to ask God to reveal something to you that you needed to see or hear. I prayed for this, I prayed that God would just show me what I was waiting on. He showed me alright. He showed me the one thing that I was totally not open to. I didn't tell anyone. I was angry and extremely sad. I denied this revelation. I didn't want it. But, it just was laid on my heart. For the next 5 days, I didn't talk about it. Once we got home from the trip, I told Tyler that I felt like God wanted us to adopt. With tears streaming down my face, I said the one thing I never wanted to have to say. I truly never thought that we would have to "resort" to adoption. This was hard to swallow for me. I continued to pray about it and got one confirmation after another. And with each confirmation and word from God I heard, my heart continued to soften to the idea that God did have a plan for me and Tyler, and even though it wasn't supposed to be this way, it was going to be better than I could have hoped for.