Sunday, December 12, 2010

From a not-yet mother's heart...

I can't imagine how you must feel as a mother. I know the feelings I already have for a person I haven't met, that maybe hasn't even been created yet. I know the things I hope for in his or her life. The things I pray for. I know as I sit here typing this I am filled with emotion I don't even understand for a person I don't even know. And there is so much I want this child to know.

I am filled with hope for the future we will have together, with excitement at the thought of seeing your sweet face the first time. I have prayed for you for years. You have my heart, and you aren't even here yet!! I pray that as you come into this world, that you are healthy and that you never know a day without my love. I pray that as you grow, you always feel like you couldn't be loved more, and that I have wanted and desired you long before you were formed. I want you to know that even though you didn't grow in my tummy, you have been growing in my heart and soul and mind much longer that 9 months. You are not a mistake, God has chosen you to complete mine and your daddy's lives. God has chosen us to raise you, love you, discipline you, have fun with you, to show you this world He has blessed us with, to show you the love He has for you, and raise you to have a love for Him, a respect for Him, a fear of Him. I want to see you sing to the Lord and worship Him as a young child and see you give your life to Him and live everyday with eternity in mind. I can't wait to see you do all the things children do as they grow, but I am much more interested in the relationship you will have with  God and the plans He has for you. I know that God already knows who you are, and He has plans for you to prosper! What a wonderful promise!

I can't wait to touch you, to smell you, to feel your soft, warm skin. I have held you in my heart for a long time now, but I can't wait to hold you in my arms. And I don't know what you are physically going to look like, but I know you are going to be wonderful, and that if I already love you this much, I can't even begin to imagine what my love for you will be like once I am your momma!

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