Homestudy Time!

On January 24, 2011, I got the call that all of our clearances were completed and we were finally ready for our homestudy! I kind of feel like it's a positive pregnancy test :) Tyler and I are super excited, and surprisingly I'm really not that nervous about it all. Our social workers seems very nice and she put me at ease about this entire thing. I am excited to get to sit down and talk with her, I feel like I have so much to learn about the things we will be going through in the upcoming months. This is such an exciting time for us and I just feel so blessed right now!! I am praying that God will continue to guide us and show us the path He has for us. I had been praying that things would move right along in His time and not mine. With tyring to sell our home and do our homestudy I had been a little nervous about the timing of this all and if it would all work out, but I know that God has his hands on this all and it will work out just the way he has planned for us. I had just said to a co-worker about an hour before the call that "I wish Agape would call and tell me all my clearances were done and that they are ready to do my homestudy" and much to my surprise she did call and tell me exactly that! Our homestudy is scheduled for Monday, January 31. I can't wait to keep moving along and getting closer and closer to our baby!!!

White Christmas!!

Well, it's been super busy this Christmas season, but I have been so blessed to spend time with our wonderful family and celebrate what Christmas is all about! Tyler and I were talking about how this may be our last Christmas by ourselves. Hopefully next year we will be preparing milk and cookies for santa! This year we woke up early on Christmas morning to a beautiful surprise...a white Christmas!! That was the first white christmas I have ever had, or at least the only one I can remember! There was so much snow that we were able to have a snowball fight, build a snowman, and ride 4-wheelers over at my parents house. The white snow was a reminder that morning of what Christmas is about, a sign of how Jesus wipes our sins away and washes us white as snow, if we accept and follow Him. Ahhhh what a wonderful Savior we have =) 

This morning, I again woke up early and was unable to go back to sleep, I decided to take down my christmas decorations and get the house cleaned up. We have decided to sell our home and build something a little bigger, so I want it to be ready for potential buyers to come look at it. God has blessed us greatly and we have been seeking His guidance in this next step. I'm excited and nervous about it all. Not quite sure how this will affect our homestudy, I'm just trusting that God has His hand on this all, and I know that His will is going to be done.

 I called our homestudy agency this past week to find out what we are currently waiting on.  The last thing we are waiting on is our CAN clearance. Our social worker told me that they are running behind on these clearances, so who knows how much longer we will be waiting. I know most people may think of this as bad news, but I just think that my baby isn't here yet, God has chosen a child for us, and His timing has to be perfect, so this is just another way of Him assuring that His will is done, and that we receive the only baby that is meant to be ours. As soon as our CAN clearance is received we will be getting a call from the social worker to set up a time for our homestudy!

From a not-yet mother's heart...

I can't imagine how you must feel as a mother. I know the feelings I already have for a person I haven't met, that maybe hasn't even been created yet. I know the things I hope for in his or her life. The things I pray for. I know as I sit here typing this I am filled with emotion I don't even understand for a person I don't even know. And there is so much I want this child to know.

I am filled with hope for the future we will have together, with excitement at the thought of seeing your sweet face the first time. I have prayed for you for years. You have my heart, and you aren't even here yet!! I pray that as you come into this world, that you are healthy and that you never know a day without my love. I pray that as you grow, you always feel like you couldn't be loved more, and that I have wanted and desired you long before you were formed. I want you to know that even though you didn't grow in my tummy, you have been growing in my heart and soul and mind much longer that 9 months. You are not a mistake, God has chosen you to complete mine and your daddy's lives. God has chosen us to raise you, love you, discipline you, have fun with you, to show you this world He has blessed us with, to show you the love He has for you, and raise you to have a love for Him, a respect for Him, a fear of Him. I want to see you sing to the Lord and worship Him as a young child and see you give your life to Him and live everyday with eternity in mind. I can't wait to see you do all the things children do as they grow, but I am much more interested in the relationship you will have with  God and the plans He has for you. I know that God already knows who you are, and He has plans for you to prosper! What a wonderful promise!

I can't wait to touch you, to smell you, to feel your soft, warm skin. I have held you in my heart for a long time now, but I can't wait to hold you in my arms. And I don't know what you are physically going to look like, but I know you are going to be wonderful, and that if I already love you this much, I can't even begin to imagine what my love for you will be like once I am your momma!

Yep, we're not criminals!!

We began the adoption process in October 2010. After much prayer, we found the agencies we wanted to use. We were just officially cleared by the state. Yep, we passed our background checks :) Now we are waiting on our social worker to come and do our homestudy. Surprisingly, I'm not really nervous about it. I've read a lot of things about how nervous people get about this, but I just know that God has brought us here, and we are in the center of His will. So, I have the utmost confidence that He is going to provide in a way that I won't have to worry with it! I'm super excited about the upcoming months!!!